Some Things Never Change

Some Things Never Change  Jim Gable cradled a cheap plastic grocery bag between his arm and rib cage because the handles had broken. He walked with his head down, on autopilot. Tweets crawled across his screen- old and new were seconds apart- from friends seemingly compelled to announce every detail of their lives. Half of them weren’t friends, not in the old sense of the word. These days the world was your friend. A woman walking her dog sniffed at him as she passed.
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The Real Thing

Mom's been looking for the real thing since my father walked out on us before we were an "us." I was born four months later. Every other week Mom tells me if I hadn't been born, she would have found her one true love by now. This is the story about how she found the real thing, but I must warn you, it's not a happy tale.

My Mom looks like a pickled Kellie Pickler in a Hardee's biscuit maker uniform-- all wrinkled and puckered.(Continue)

Boys and as
Nice as John

John pushed me down onto the hotel bed, fingers working at the button on my shorts. Our eyes locked. I giggled and squirmed under his weight.

"Misty, you're hot." He breathed into my ear.

"Thanks," I blushed. "John, I don't want to."


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For You Mother

In elementary school, I was the boy who had a zombie for a mother. Not a brain eating, movie monster. No. Just the all too real kind.

The other kids, my grotesque peers, hurled names and insults at me every chance they got, which was very often. Sixth grade English was the worst. Our teacher loved torturing us with poetry. I cannot remember her name, though I see her upturned mouth and blue curls well in my mind’s eye.  (Continue)

Meat Head The Worst Dog in the World

In the morning, I howled for two hours after Einstein left for work. Eleven out of ten doctors recommend this to clear morning phlegm from your throat. Mrs. Angleton worked herself into a tizzy. She was trying to talk to her father, Papa Angleton, while yelling at me to be quiet.

"Sir Richard Cecil once said, 'the shortest way to do many things is to do only one thing at a time.' I read that somewhere." (Continue)